1st this
judge outright refused to read any reports submitted by anyone claiming ex
parte communication which is BS. Asst prosecutor said can't move forward with termination due to burden proof (primary
grounds for termination were refusal to treat mental health issues however she
received a denial of services in the new county she is in, it’s not yet clear
if it was a denial based on not NEEDING them or just a denial but either way
they felt they could not proceed based on the grounds of the petition they
filed not being applicable any longer. Judge proceeded to start writing a list of things bmom needed to do and changes to be made giving more
rights stating the case has been open a long time let’s get this going etc
HAVING REVIEWED NOTHING...the case worker from LSS was called to the stand, I felt she did
inadequate job. She agreed
to progress made w/o highlighting a single concern, agreed to
everything requested as a change without a single counter point of caution and
she had read the CTAC report......I
was fuming.
This left us on track for unsupervised in home visits of increasing length and overnights at discretion LSS to be started asap after inspection of the home.
I stopped, breathed, prayed God to guide my tongue and raised my hand.
I asked for the right to be heard, judge said it was good to make sure all issues/concerns addressed and called recess and I met with the GAL which is Tiny Tot i.e TT’s attorney. She agreed that him not reading stuff is bs and I listed all my concerns. Such as the changes they were making were in conflict with the recommendation of multiple professionals in the CTAC report. They said infant mental health should be called yet we already had her evaluated and they said she had overcome her issues due to the care received in our home. Also my letter to the court had not been read since it was in the stack of papers he wasn’t going to review and almost everyone those matches concerns in my letter. I told her I would like, at a minimum the CTAC report and my letter to the court reviewed prior to these decisions becoming effective. I told her I felt harm would be done if an accelerated timeline of visits occurred and asked that I have opportunity to address the court
(You can imagine how scared I was at this point, not only are foster parents normally meant to be seen and not heard but they had just “paused” court for me! I told her I was sorry if I was being unprofessional and I would attempt to say my concerns in a professional manner but I felt the judge making decisions w/o reviewing crucial info was reckless. She stated I wasn’t unprofessional and apologized that she couldn’t proceed with termination at this time, she stated she would continue the recess so that she could meet with the prosecutor and the judge in chambers)
This left us on track for unsupervised in home visits of increasing length and overnights at discretion LSS to be started asap after inspection of the home.
I stopped, breathed, prayed God to guide my tongue and raised my hand.
I asked for the right to be heard, judge said it was good to make sure all issues/concerns addressed and called recess and I met with the GAL which is Tiny Tot i.e TT’s attorney. She agreed that him not reading stuff is bs and I listed all my concerns. Such as the changes they were making were in conflict with the recommendation of multiple professionals in the CTAC report. They said infant mental health should be called yet we already had her evaluated and they said she had overcome her issues due to the care received in our home. Also my letter to the court had not been read since it was in the stack of papers he wasn’t going to review and almost everyone those matches concerns in my letter. I told her I would like, at a minimum the CTAC report and my letter to the court reviewed prior to these decisions becoming effective. I told her I felt harm would be done if an accelerated timeline of visits occurred and asked that I have opportunity to address the court
(You can imagine how scared I was at this point, not only are foster parents normally meant to be seen and not heard but they had just “paused” court for me! I told her I was sorry if I was being unprofessional and I would attempt to say my concerns in a professional manner but I felt the judge making decisions w/o reviewing crucial info was reckless. She stated I wasn’t unprofessional and apologized that she couldn’t proceed with termination at this time, she stated she would continue the recess so that she could meet with the prosecutor and the judge in chambers)
We reconvened.
Judge tried to
save face saying CTAC report is most important info in whole file and he should have been given it....an hour,
oh wait he says I wasn’t here an hour ago, ok 10 minutes before trial and
proceeds to say how all kids going through CTAC get FAS diagnosis (yeah because
you have to be pretty sure and fight like HELL to get them in there) and how
the report is exactly what he would expect how he could have written it but he
was not aware of it’s existence. That is why judges are supposed to REVIEW the documents
that are REQUIRED to be submitted to them, and not just coast into retirement
putting in only the time while he sits up there deliberating PLUS most of the people
in this county appear to be afraid to speak up or go out of the typical order
that things “are to be done in his county”.
However, after what I will call the “Saving face speel” he was receptive to my interjection, thanked me for it and after that the whole ‘tone’ of the rest of the trial changed. He stated there were two big pieces of information he was missing a- the CTAC information and b-that he was ordering bmom to transport TT to and from all these visits and she has a suspended license. Then he talked a long time about bmom being in ‘contemplating change’ state. He told her this was a line in the sand, her last chance, and that he was moving the hearing up so instead of her having 3 months she has 6 weeks and that they were going to go through the rest of the items previously talked about and then we’d end up with a laundry list of items that were required. He told her to go home and read that report every night, live in a bubble if she has to, he asked her how she expected to get her license back when she has to pay the fines and she is waiting for a job (that she supposedly has) to start on Jun10 which means she wont get paid for 2 weeks after that……he suggested she go pick asparagus or find something to do in the mean time that she needed to quit contemplating changes and move to action, that she couldn’t wait for things to straighten out that she had to make it happen. He talked about how there is bond and there is blood and that bond is as important, he said TT has been in care as long as she has due to choices YOU have made and that has resulted in a bond with me which she should be grateful for and that it may not be in best interest to disrupt that bond but he wasn’t sure if a CTAC report would stand up in court of appeals for termination of parental rights and again re-iterated it was her last chance. He said that kids have an instinct, a trust, and that they seek out that bond and that is what she can see reflected in the CTAC report (TT seeking me out over her and able to be comforted by a CTAC assessor who had been playing with her over her mother. I actually thought he did a good job of speaking to her in a respectful yet impacting way…so I will give him that.
However, after what I will call the “Saving face speel” he was receptive to my interjection, thanked me for it and after that the whole ‘tone’ of the rest of the trial changed. He stated there were two big pieces of information he was missing a- the CTAC information and b-that he was ordering bmom to transport TT to and from all these visits and she has a suspended license. Then he talked a long time about bmom being in ‘contemplating change’ state. He told her this was a line in the sand, her last chance, and that he was moving the hearing up so instead of her having 3 months she has 6 weeks and that they were going to go through the rest of the items previously talked about and then we’d end up with a laundry list of items that were required. He told her to go home and read that report every night, live in a bubble if she has to, he asked her how she expected to get her license back when she has to pay the fines and she is waiting for a job (that she supposedly has) to start on Jun10 which means she wont get paid for 2 weeks after that……he suggested she go pick asparagus or find something to do in the mean time that she needed to quit contemplating changes and move to action, that she couldn’t wait for things to straighten out that she had to make it happen. He talked about how there is bond and there is blood and that bond is as important, he said TT has been in care as long as she has due to choices YOU have made and that has resulted in a bond with me which she should be grateful for and that it may not be in best interest to disrupt that bond but he wasn’t sure if a CTAC report would stand up in court of appeals for termination of parental rights and again re-iterated it was her last chance. He said that kids have an instinct, a trust, and that they seek out that bond and that is what she can see reflected in the CTAC report (TT seeking me out over her and able to be comforted by a CTAC assessor who had been playing with her over her mother. I actually thought he did a good job of speaking to her in a respectful yet impacting way…so I will give him that.
After
re-adjusting the items on the list he had ordered he asked me if I had any
additional concerns or thoughts to add. I said that I had written a letter to
the court and since I was nervous and had my thoughts in order there I would
prefer to have that read, he asked if I would like to read it to which I
agreed. I framed the letter prior to starting with the fact that I had an open
relationship with birth mom, that I cared for her but felt our primary
responsibility as foster parents were to represent our concerns for tiny tot’s best interest. Bmom
smiled at me through teary eyes. I read my letter, we stopped during my letter
a few times and he addressed some other things. I corrected him again on an
item that I felt was important, then internally smacked myself for pressing my
luck, I gave him a summation of what had been done in regards to the item in
question, he said it sounded perfectly stated and logical to him and asked me
to proceed. Again, to his credit, he thanked me for pointing that out and didn't get an attitude about it. I
finished reading the letter and was thanked for my input.
Despite the fact that it was a public hearing I don’t feel privy to give away any of the intimate details of the requirements established but I think it is a good plan. The duration and frequency of visits will remain the same but there will be additional eyes evaluating the quality of interaction.
Despite the fact that it was a public hearing I don’t feel privy to give away any of the intimate details of the requirements established but I think it is a good plan. The duration and frequency of visits will remain the same but there will be additional eyes evaluating the quality of interaction.
Afterward I offered bmom chance to talk, and she
agreed. I told her I
planned to be transparent with her that I had concerns despite her progress and I was sorry
if she felt ambushed as that was not my intent. I
expressed my concerns for tiny tot, she cried, we talked, we hugged, it was good, I’ll leave most of
the conversation private out of respect for her but I will say I let her know
she would always be TTs mom but that I told her that I had grave concerns for
the emotional well being of TT and that my only goal was what was in her best
interest and it was in no way a judgment or persecution of her as I felt she
was a very hard worker and intelligent person that had been dealt a raw hand
and gotten herself into a place that is nearly impossible to crawl out of. I asked her to think about who she
could get support from if TT came home or if she’d be left in a bad spot when her few
temporary and intermittent people supporting her left her side resulting in more heart ache and
damage for both her and TT when the same conditions repeated themselves.
So obviously I am disappointed that tiny tot did not end up eligible for adoption however I am still very confident that she will be our daughter, permanently, and am interested to see (now that I’ve calmed down) the plan God has with this interesting detour. This judge has a reputation for things being 'his way or highway' and liking to drone on without listening to others so it was truly a GOD thing. That being said a friend of mine says there is a caseworker in his county that always speaks up, never takes any crud from him and he absolutely adores her so maybe I was the perfect gal for the job ;-) While I am happy that I intervened and with the subsequent results this was NOT my job, in fact it was rather unprecedented as far as I know not only to be done but to be received so we will be meeting with a lawyer next week, if I have to do the work I'm going to make sure we are covered, educated, and protected and under MI law we have the right to representation after the child has been in our home for a year.
So obviously I am disappointed that tiny tot did not end up eligible for adoption however I am still very confident that she will be our daughter, permanently, and am interested to see (now that I’ve calmed down) the plan God has with this interesting detour. This judge has a reputation for things being 'his way or highway' and liking to drone on without listening to others so it was truly a GOD thing. That being said a friend of mine says there is a caseworker in his county that always speaks up, never takes any crud from him and he absolutely adores her so maybe I was the perfect gal for the job ;-) While I am happy that I intervened and with the subsequent results this was NOT my job, in fact it was rather unprecedented as far as I know not only to be done but to be received so we will be meeting with a lawyer next week, if I have to do the work I'm going to make sure we are covered, educated, and protected and under MI law we have the right to representation after the child has been in our home for a year.
