Torn in two...clone needed

Last week was the 1st for the new year, I had vacation monday, worked 6 hours on tue splitting the day with Jared on account of sick babies and missed the rest of the week as little man was very sick and only I could handle him. Tiny tot started recovering from her bronchitis just in time for little man to develop pneumonia. He was the sickest I've ever seen a baby, scary breathing, even to me.

I don't like the kids being sick, for their case of course and I don't mind taking care of them when they are sick, sometimes it's even nice if they are snuggly and just want extra TLC. However, it is SO hard to be a 'working outside' the home mom when the kids are sick. I never feel as torn or have as much "working mom" guilt as the times when everyone is sick.

Now last night I was so proud of myself, all the lunches were pack, diaper bags were freshly stocked and everything was ready to go for the new week...yeah. Until this morning, Lillian, even after sleeping all night is crying over being too tired and coughing, bring on the nebs and inhalers for her. She was willing to miss 1st day back to school and AWANA so I know she doesn't feel well. It's extra nebs and steroids for me too as my cough is increasing.

I sent the babies to daycare, I need to get some work-work done from home......sigh and I need a break. Today I feel like I really should have taken the full 6 month unpaid parental leave, I dont think I've managed a full week since I've been 'back' to work 6 weeks ago. I feel badly for letting my colleagues down, then I feel badly for having screwy priorities and worrying about work when I should be worrying about my family....and thus the cycle repeats.

Today, I am trying to remind myself of what my grandma always says....This too shall pass. I am trying to tell myself that God has me just where he wants me and if he doesn't that he will make it abundantly clear in HIS time and HIS way.

Now, I've had my coffee, I'm mostly awake and it's off to log onto work from home, which, don't get me wrong, I'm Blessed beyond belief to even have that opportunity :-)

And in an attempt to stay true to my increased efforts in the New Year...not exactly a new year's resolution but I plan to seek God's plan and input into all areas of my life so I will always try to find a passage that speaks to me when so for this post....

Proverbs 16:9 NIV: In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.