Baby's First Week-home sweet home

We brought Lillian home saturday, the day before christmas eve. We arrived home early afternoon and as luck would have it on our first day out with our daughter we got rear ended on the way home. It was only while at a stop light and the guy just rolled into us so no harm done. It made for two very careful and paranoid parents for the rest of the trip home though, luckily we were already in town. The dogs were ecstatic to see us after being cooped up alone all week, thankfully my mom took care of them for us.

On our way . . . home sweet home

It seemed that our house had exploded as we had so much more stuff to bring home than we had left with--including a new baby! We couldn't believe we just got to bring her home from the hospital and keep her, it seemed to good to be true, the only thing that could be better was if she was sent with an instruction manual. Jared looked at me and said, "Well, now what do we do?" and I didnt have a good answer. She had let us sleep very well the previous night in the hospital so we made the classic new parent mistake and tried to do too much upon returning home which left us tired when the first night rolled around and guess who wasnt tired--at all??? So needless to say, the first night was rough as she was up at least every hour.

Christmas eve we woke feeling very tired after laying in bed off and on between feedings and changings until 11am. Then we decided to try and get ready to go to Grandma Donna's for christmas eve dinner and visiting. Again we made the classic first parent mistake of thinking we could get ready in anything close to the amount of time it would have previously taken us-ha! Long story short the car ended up 'warming up' in the driveway for over an hour. Who knew that she would mess their clothes, not fit into 3 other outfits, and decide to eat all at the last minute? We really enjoyed the opportunity to show off our little one to Grandma Donna, Grandpa Coop, Great Grandma Jan, Uncle's Steve and Jim, as well as Nadia, Bailey, and Ian.

Baby's 1st Christmas

Christmas day went much better as for her 2nd night home Lillian treated us to a perfect christmas present, some sleep. We woke feeling better than we had since her birth. We spent christmas relaxing and trying to make some semblence of order within the house while feeling so grateful to be sharing our first christmas with our little daughter. Grandma Tanya brought over christmas dinner and Aunt's Anita and Amanda also came bearing gifts of fitting clothes for baby Lillian as she was so tiny at birth that nothing was fitting her. There was no need to leave the house christmas day and we enjoyed our 'down day'.

The day after christmas Lillian was scheduled for her first pediatrician appointment at 6 days old. They took her birth information, and Jared undressed her so the doctor could do a through check. Our concerns were that the cord stump was falling off and goopy as we had bumped it when trying to use the cloth diapers and even though we had switched back to the disposables to try and prevent more bumping the damage had been done. They put some silver nitrate on the cord to dry it up, evidentally it is not an uncommon occurence. Both the doctor and we were very surprised to learn that she weighed in at 6lbs 11oz! What a piggie, they don't expect babies to even reach their birth weight for 2 weeks and our little one had exceeded hers by 3oz in the first 6 days! It was a good sign and we were thrilled. We left the doctors feeling like she had earned her first A+!

Jared and I had decided to drive up to visit Uncle Dave and Aunt Lisa that day so after a last minute feeding we were off to saginaw. Luckily for us Lillian seems to love car rides and the second you start driving she is out like a light! She slept the whole ride without a peep and we had to wake her to eat when we got there. The chance to visit was nice though unfortunately Lisa had to work that day and had a flat tire on the way home and didn't arrive until 7:30pm that night, I developed a horrid migraine and went to bed early, and both Dave & Lisa had to work the next day. Jared was able to give Blake a game he had been wanting and Taylor really enjoyed being able to see the baby though we were afraid she was sick so she was only allowed her to look. She kept wanting to share all her toys with Lillian and saying how beautiful she was. We also enjoyed seeing Troy and Tarryn who serves as the perfect picture of what we will see in the coming year as she is one year and 2 days older than Lillian.

We awoke on the morning of the one week mark feeling very rested as for the 2nd night in a row Lillian let us sleep and we slept on a real bed as opposed to our guest room futon we had been using so I could avoid the stairs. For our one week anniversary as a family we drove home from Saginaw and again Lillian loved the car ride. When we arrived home we had to shower and get ready to leave again to go to my one week check up appointment. I have been doing well and stopped taking the pain medication given to me and switched to ibuprofen. All checked out fine and so we end our one week mark as a happy healthy family looking forward to many more times to come, though at this point I think we need to take it one day at a time!

Baby's First Week-hospital days

I don't want to forget a thing about the first few days but with lack of sleep and all things considered I had better get it all down before it starts to fade so this is that attempt. More details than most anyone wants to know but this is really for me to have and keep so you may have to pick through alot of the details for the overall info.

Well after a less than ideal birth experience for all involved everything else went smoothly. I was fairly ill the first 2 hours or so after the c-section but with some help from Jared and my mom I recovered well. Lillian's apgars were 8 and 9 meaning she was a healthy baby that just had to 'pinken' up a bit after birth, Jared said she looked like a grape when she came out. Jared did surprisingly well also, after being afraid he would be 'grossed out' by the birth and not thinking he would ever be able to be present for a c-section he was fine with the c-section and watched them pull her out. He later said the bad part was that he was very scared for me and understandable so.



Within the first hour after her birth Lillian and I were able to successfully breastfeed with a bit of help from Dad who held her up as I still didn't have appropriate use of my arms. Breastfeeding continued to go well throughout our stay and the lactation consultants were very impressed as they said it is normally never that smooth--who knows maybe Lillian was paying attention during the breastfeeding class we attended :-)

They expect a newborn to lose up to 10% of their weight within the first week and then return to their birth weight by about the 2 week mark. At birth, wednesday morning, she weighed 6lbs7.8oz, thursday night she weighed 6lbs1.4oz which the pediatrician said was a lower weight loss than average which is great. Friday night her weight held constant at 6lbs1.4oz so they said perhaps she had hit her low mark since my milk had already started coming in. All in all it was a very good sign as they expect for them to continue loosing weight while in the hospital. Overall she did very well and hit every mark they wanted early. She had rid her system of the meconium with frequent bowel movements with first 48 hours and had moved on to the beginnings of the yellow breastfed bowel movement before leaving the hospital. The only 'problem' she had was that because of the way she was positioned in utero with her neck kinked to her shoulder for so long she had a bit of a flat spot behind her ear on her head and you could see where it was pushed into her little shoulder, this left her wanting to lay this way all the time--the pediatrician called it a 'packaging error' which I thought was very cute. We were shown some stretches to do to help her get used to turning her head the other way which she did not appreciate one bit! At first we had to breastfeed in certain positions on the left vs right side because she would not turn her head at all but with the stretching this resolved within a couple days.





Jared and I were thoroughly impressed with our hospital stay, everyone there was thorough and overly helpful plus they made you feel like your child and birth were special which is amazing considering they work with new families every day. We were admitted tuesday night, had her wednesday morning and were discharged saturday early afternoon, we had the option of staying until sunday (christmas eve) but we were eager to get home and settled--how little we knew.











Lillian 3 days old

Labor of Love-finale

Tuesday December 19th - Progress!

In a nutshell while on the NST before they placed the 1st dose of cytotec at 9am on tuesday I felt a slight 'leak' (8:30am) but since I had to go to the b-room I didn't think too much of it (those of you who have been pregnant will understand), they placed the 1st dose and then I went back for 1 hour NST during which time I felt multiple 'leaks' I told midwife who had placed it and she said since I would be back for doc to place next dose in 3 hours they would check me then. After walking around etc I didnt have any more leaks but sitting down to lunch before dose #2 I did so I was very hopeful it was my waters but it was still tiny amounts so I was afraid my bladder had abandoned me .

Upon returning to the doc the check showed it was my waters! Hooray we didn't have to go home again the cervix was still at 80% but was anterior now and 3cm dilated. Since L&D was overflowing we had to hang out at docs office another 3 hours until they could clear a room for us, we did 2nd dose and then went for a walk as I was still having no contractions.

We were admitted at 4:30 pm and by 5 ish they had started pitocin since I was still having no contractions (9+hours with waters broken ) they gave super low pitocin which started strong contractions (going from none to too strong NOT recommended ) so they turned it down to super low which was still giving stronger than needed contractions according to them (I had internal monitors place for both babies heart rate and contraction strength—these are HIGHLY uncomfortable). We went that way until midnight at which time I had a cervix check and was 4.5cm--how disappointing! Since being admitted my BP was borderline too high which forced me to lay on my side and I also had the internal monitors placed so I was unable to do all the labor coping stuff we had learned in class like change positions etc. So, I decided to be 'realistic' and get the epidural, about 1/2 hour later when they tried to do epidural I was in transition and was 7cm (didn't know this until afterwards or maybe would have not gotten epi after all, 7cm sounded much better than 4.5!).

Unfortunately my epidural fears were justified as I reacted badly and BP and HR dropped drastically so they had me lay on my back to try and get it up which then sent baby into a drastic heart rate (HR) decell which she did pull out of after they had me get back on my side, my BP and HR recovered as well. The epidural was too strong for me as I was completely numb and couldn’t feel a thing and couldn’t move the left 1/2 my body from laying on that side the medicine settled there more strongly.

We continued labor that way, which did allow me to rest, until about 2:30am when nurse told me that I was having very strong bi-phasic contractions (this is 2 contractions on top of one another with no break in between) which usually meant baby was in a sunny side up position (much harder to give birth this way). She said perhaps laying on my belly could help the baby to shift so she got a beanbag and with a lot of help from Jared and the nurse they finally managed to get me over onto my belly which was surprisingly quiet comfortable after not having laid that way for months. The nurse left and all was good—for about 60 seconds, after which I had Jared RUN out to get the nurse because I started vomiting and getting very light headed, I started to fade out and I couldn’t keep great track of what was going on but when I did look up there was six nurses in room working on me and turning me back over. Still not sure why it happened but I got sick and baby went into massive decell while I was on my belly (Jared later told me her heart rate went from the 180's and dropped into the 50's - how scary). We both recovered again but then doctor came running in – in her slippers with sleep marks on her face, so evidentially we had given them a pretty good scare. Doctor said if we had another ‘episode’ we would have to have emergency c-section but she was recommending we have one right then anyway because for whatever reason baby was not able to cope well with the stresses of the labor and she didn’t think she cold tolerate pushing but wouldn’t know why until they got in there and saw what was wrong. She said it could have been cord wrapped around neck or any other number of issues, I told her I wanted whatever would keep my girl safe (though inside I was scared to death because the last time I had surgery I had massive complications and could have myself died which is also the reason I was petrified of the epidural).

The doctor checked me and I was 9cm, making progress, and almost ready to push so we had to hurry. What a surprise and drastic change of events. They brought Jared in scrubs and he requested some coffee as we went from resting to chaos and expecting a baby VERY soon! While waiting I was already feeling pressure building, luckily epi was so strong I could resist pushing instincts.

When they wheeled me in to prep me for surgery my fear really got to me, Jared couldn’t come in during prep which didn’t help. I started shaking and had to work hard not to hyperventilate even with drugs as I was so scared. When they tested my feeling I kept being able to feel them scratching me etc so they ended up giving me the maximum epidural and then narcotics in my IV. Unfortunately, they did such a good job making sure I wouldn’t feel pain I actually couldn’t move my arms or see straight and was only ½ awake for the birth. Jared said I kept telling them DO NOT put me to sleep I want to see my girl! I had to ask Jared what color hair etc as I was unable to focus my eyes.

The c-section went well with no complications. We ended up finding out that she was turned so her head was shoved into her shoulder and the side of her head was trying to come out instead of the bottom and my placenta was starting to get calcifications (also called ‘old’ placenta common in diabetics) which made it hard for her to cope with labor stresses.

Even the epidural didn't stop me from crying my eyes out as I was so elated, finally I got to meet her after we waited for her for so long. She was born Wednesday December 20th at 3:34am. She weighed 6lbs 7.8oz and was 20.5 inches long. She had a more than full head of dark brown hair and dark brown/blue mixed eyes.

Labor of Love

Well there is alot of controversy over when everyone thinks I will go into labor. My doctors best guess was that I woudlnt make it to see the end of November, Jared originally thought Dec 6 but once I started with the contractions and medicine he re-aligned his bet to say Nov 22nd, my sister in law Lisa thinks it will be a week after we stop the terbutaline which will be Sunday December 3rd, and a ton of others thought I would go as soon as I stopped taking the terbutaline. I myself have tried to be prepared to have our little bundle the moment we stopped taking the terbutaline but figured it woudl be a while.

Thursday November 30th - Nov Baby?
This was the first day I wondered if labor was beginning. I had alot of much stronger contractions that would originate high but work low and end in a very strong lower belly cramp. I also did not feel like eating anything due to some nauseau and was in the bathroom alot so I began to wonder. The contractions stayed on at a pace of about every 15 minutes for perhaps 4 hours or a bit more but then petered out so it was a no go. Perhaps it was a first sign of 'false labor'? So thus ends our chances of having a November baby!

Friday December 1st - Lightening?
Well I had heard that up to two weeks before a 1st baby they will 'drop' so to speak and you will be carrrying much lower. I dont think my profile looks all that different and I can still feel her feet in my ribs but overall her feet and butt which she sticks out opposite sides of my belly as far as possible normally are a bit lower. What really makes me think I dropped though is that I am back to being in the bathroom almost continuously, there was one other point where she was laying VERY low and back down about 3-4 weeks ago and this had the exact same effect - then she figured out her head down position and alleviated some of the lower pressure. Makes me wonder if her head is dropping and she is still able to reach my ribs because she is a bit more elongated/stretched out as oppose to completely jack-knifed and pushing out my sides as before. Still have contractions but no change in them or their frequency. Since I had taken it pretty easy and been tired all day I had taken a nap and then had Jared take me grocery shopping to stock up, by the time we were done I was having VERY strong contractions and alot of cramping, after side lying for about an hour I began to feel better.

Saturday December 2nd-
Well last night while sleeping and then this morning I had some more cramping very low down. Wasnt sure what this was all about but some ladies who know better than myself claim this is the result of your cervix opening, we shall see. I did suddenly have an obsessive compulsion to clean my house -- and the energy to do it for hours just as the proverbial 'nesting instict' says you will but then in the afternoon I had to take a nap so maybe it was just a bit of OCD kicking in? I scrubbed walls and trim, the bathroom floor on hands and knees, cleaned all the appliances and gadgets in my kitchen, got all the babies diapers organized and last minute room items in shape, and re-organized multiple cupboards! Still having contractions but no real change in their timing or frequency though for a few days they do tend to get a bit stronger if I dont submit to them and rest a bit.

Sunday December 3rd-Will today be the day?
Well I am beginning to think that I am going to make it quiet a bit further in this little waiting game. I am definately beginning to get uncomfortable and am having a very hard time sleeping, last night I gave up trying to sleep in our bed about 3am and moved to the futon, I have been tossing and turning and keeping Jared awake for over a week and just can never get comfortable. I stacked alot of couch pillows on an incline on the futon and was able to sleep on a 45 degree angle on my back for a while which seemed to help a bit. We went on our last 'date' for a while, I am sure they will never be the same again. We went to brunch at Fieldstone Grill and ran errands and went shopping afterward, nothing too glamarous but very nice since we hadn't been out in a while. After all the walking around the contractions are a bit increased but nothing worth noting. Still cleaning and organizing like a crazy woman and overall just driving Jared nutso!

Monday December 4th - Cruise Control
Well just like a kid waiting for christmas, the more you think about/anticipate and hope for something the longer it seems to take so I am going to try and stop wondering each day if "today is the day?" --who believes that?? Went in for my NST today and all was looking very well with baby. Mom is a bit tired having only been able to sleep for a few fitful hours, I woke up to some lower abdominal cramping that has lasted on an off for the morning but nothing major.

Tuesday December 5th - Cows
Well nothing too exciting today, I have had some mild cramping and back pain all day but nothing too strong, just enough to be uncomfortable. The insomnia is really kicking in. I was on my feet a bit today and my feet and calves look like cows now, my feet swelled out around my loose house slippers!

Wednesday December 6th - Prophecy Proves False
Well Jared originally guessed that she would be born December 6th but it doesn't look like his psychic connection was up to par as no additional developments today, we will see what the doctors have to say tomorrow.

Thursday December 7th - Maybe Baby?
Well last night I was having cramping and contractions on and off and I had an early doctor appointment this morning and was contracting pretty regularly on my NST. Doctor said to monitor and call if contractions continue at regular interval for 2-3 hours so we shall see. Of course there have been days when I have been at regular intervals for 4+ hours but they always go away so we shall see.

Friday December 8th - Practice run
I woke friday feeling 'off' and really tired. I took it easy most the day though I did go to the pool at the gym and walk and stretch in the water a bit to try and feel better. I developed a headache later in the day that felt unlike most my headaches, I was also swelling a bit. I took my BP at meijer and it was 143/91 then 127/90 so I called to see if this was ok and they had me report to L&D triage. I really didn't think I needed to go but we did as we were told and after a few hours of monitoring and basically just waiting for my bloodwork to get back they said all was fine and I was free to go and to watch for any additional headaches or blurred vision and if I thought BP was rising to lay on my side which reduces it.

Saturday December 9th - No developments
We went to my holiday party tonight, it was fun, everyone was surprised to see us. Once the music started for the night the baby got to doing a jig in my belly so we only stayed about an hour after that as she may have been having fun but it was doing a number on me!

Sunday December 10th - Batter Up?
I had an appointment today at L&D triage which my doc had requested on thursday, she was the one working today and wanted to see me and said she hoped I could go into labor today as she coudl then be the one to deliver the baby. Well I suspected and was right that she wanted me there today to give me a 'helping hand' so to speak if there were no developments. NST was still looking good with no regular pattern to my contractions and my BP was good so she did an exam and said I was 70-80%effaced, -2 station, and 1-2cm dilated so she manually stripped my membranes and scratched the babies head to see what response she would get. The baby started moving, kicking, and heart racing which she said was a perfect response to the scalp scratch. She had us go do some walking and now we are home waiting to see if her 'help' did the trick.

Tuesday December 12th - Waiting Game
Well although there have been some signs that labor may be 'iminent' it is still holding off and this girl seems to be on her own time table as to when she makes her debut into the world. If nothing happens by thursday we have an ultrasound, NST, and OB appointment. In actuality, the past few days I have had less contractions than normal, my only hope is that when they restart they are real!

Wednesday December 13th- Waiting Game Continued
A few more spontaneous contractions today but still no pattern to them it is nice out today so perhaps we can go for a walk and see what that does.

Thursday December 14th-Plan of Action
All looked good with the baby today. Doctor's plan is to bring us in on monday for an induction using cytotec if we have not went into labor by then. It is a prostaglandin pill that will be administered in 3 hour intervals with monitoring of the baby and my contractions between doses so hopefully we should have a baby on monday.

Monday December 18th-Stall
Well we went in today and got our first dose of cytotec to no avail as there was no change in the cervix and I didn't get any contractions. For the second dose they did a double dose and still no contractions which is very disapointing. We will go back tomorrow for 2 more doses and see what progress can be made.

House Remodel

Well as always Jared and I were working on finishign up the house remodeling. About 2 weeks before thanksgiving Jared got the upstairs completed to a point where we were finally able to move back into our upstairs. Just moving all our stuff around from basement to upstairs and regaining use of our whole house was quiet an ordeal. Then it was time to start on the final leg of our journey, the kitchen! By this point we were both so sick of working on the house we wanted to just move out or burn it down but on the other hand we were so close to being done after so many years of working on it. I was honestly having a stress fit over the fact that it wasnt done and I was worried it would not be done in time for the baby, I even threatened to hire a contractor -- to which Jared countered to hire a mover, just for himself! So we started tearing apart the kitchen about a week before thanksgiving and worked on it every night. Jared was so tired because he was very busy at work and then he woudl come home and night and work on the house, at one point we just had to take a day off. Since the meds were keeping my contractions at bay I was also able to help but what I am able to help with is very limited. It was our goal to fix and redo the walls, refinish the cabinets, paint/wallpaper everything, put in a new floor. While this doesn't sound like much, at least I thought it was pretty minor compared to other jobs he has done it was ALOT of work. So we had our kitchen torn apart and I was so strssed she woudl come while it was still that way but we thankfully had the 4 day holiday weekend and finished all the major work up. Like the rest of the house there are still small things that need done here or there but for the most part it is DONE! All the work we have left on the house are small items that can be done in an hour here or there or at most on a day on the weekend. I am so thrilled we have accomplished so much and I finally feel at peace like we have a really nice home to 'come home to' with our new baby.

Ready & Waiting

Thursday November 30th, 2006

Well I went off the medicine to stop contractions Sunday night November 26th. The doctor said if after going off the medicine I did not have the baby within a couple days there was a good chance that I was someone who just had alot of 'practice contractions' known as braxton hicks that weren't actually doing anything but if I had the baby within a couple days then it is probably the medicine that kept me from going into preterm labor. I have tried to prepare everythign to have the baby the minute I went of the medicine just incase but I have thought that I will probably end up going way longer than anyone expected after taking me off the medicine. For me anything medically that can be strange, abnormal, or go wrong will! Not that carrying her longer is going wrong, not at all, I hope to carry her to full term and I hope she stays put as long as possible. We are now 37 weeks 2 days so she is no longer considered a premie if she were born today but 38 weeks is considered full term. My sister had first at 37 weeks 2 days and the second at exactly 37 weeks.

Today is the first day I wondered if I was going to go into labor. In the morning I was having alot of contractions that were much stronger than usual and instead of only being up high were also traveling low and they would start regardless of if I was on my feet or not. It stayed that way for about 4 hours coming approximately every 15 minutes but then they began to taper off. I have been hoping for her not to come early but since I thought maybe she was coming today I was actually a bit disapointed when they stopped as I was getting excited to meet this little one we have waited so long for.

37 Week Ultrasound

Wednesday November 29th, 2006

We had an ultrasound yesterday, they do them further along if you have gestational diabetes to check on the size of the baby. She looked really great! She is very much on the small side, not sure where she gets that from as neither Jared nor I are small and while I have kept the gestational diabetes under control with my diet it should have made her fatter if anything. We were 37weeks1day yesterday and she was measuring 35weeks2day and weighing in at 5lbs8oz. Average for 37 weeks would be 6-7lbs. They said that at this far along the ultrasounds are not really accurate as they can be +/- 2 weeks in their estimate so she is still within normal range and the weight even said that it can be +/- 13 oz which is almost a pound. Our friends just had a baby boy 9lbs2oz and Jared thought that baby was small so he sounded worried when I told him the size of our little one. I just hope he isn't afraid of how small she is if she does end up being tiny. HOpefully I can keep her put for another week or so to allow her to put on some more weight, they said they are gaining about 1/2 a pound a week at this point! The best part of the ultrasound today was that she was putting on a show, she was blinking, opening her eyes and moving them around like she was looking for something and sticking her tongue out really far and licking her lips and swallowing a lot. She also did a huge smile a couple times (the ultrasound people were ones that noticed so it is not just a proud hopeful mom thing, they rewound the video and showed me as I hadn’t caught it, ok maybe it just 'looked' like a smile but still)-- even they were surprised by what we were seeing. They said it doesn’t happen too often you get to see all that so they stayed on her face for over 5 minutes just watching, it was WONDERFUL and you could tell they both loved babies because they were ooing and ahing and laughing with me! It was the best and I had tears in my eyes, it was the first time I felt like I was watching a little person instead of some bleary grainy images of what would someday be our daughter.

3 Month Catch Up Pregnancy Post

WOW!

A long time has passed and I have not kept up on journaling! For the most part the pregnancy has progressed nicely albeit a few bumps in the road.

August
Alot has happened since August. August finished without incident and all was going well.

September
In September we began taking our parental readiness classes at our local hospital, we took classes on: breastfeeding, baby basics, prenatal/labor readiness class, ask the doctor, and Jared took Dad boot camp. They were all very good and helpful in getting you into a mind set to think about things and prepare yourself. We had a nice labor day weekend and went to a party at our friends house. 3rd Trimester started September 23rd and I started getting weekly massages and chiropractic adjustments which proved to be wonderful at moderating all the added aches and strains of pregnancy.

October
October proved to be a bit tougher of a month as my lungs began acting up and I ended up on IV antibiotics. Considering how tired/draining IV's normally are and adding pregnancy to that it was not possible for me to work during that time so I was off of work for almost 3 weeks. Normally when I miss work I worry about it alot and return back to work asap, generally too soon and end up worn out. Considering I was taking care of my daughter too I did the opposite and took the doctors orders gladly and used the time to rest up and work on some projects and reading I had been wanting to do.

Upon returning to work within 2 days I began having alot of contractions whenever I was on my feet, this had been happening at home too but since I was ill and less active it did not ever get to the point it did while I was working. My 4th day of work I called the doctor and went in for a non stress test (NST) where they measure the babies activity and my uterine contractions, while she was doing fine I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart. The doctor administered a tocolytic medicine called procardia under my tongue that works to stop the contractions & it did work. They then allowed me to return to work on the medicine and we hoped all would be well. Unfortunately the medicine made me ill I had to have Jared drive me home from work and by the time I took the second dose that night I was extremely ill knew I couldnt take it again. Jared called the doctor who prescribed a different medicine that did the same thing for me which worked and did not cause the side effects. After one day of rest to ensure the medicine was working and I was over a head cold I had aquired I returned to work. Unfortunately, I was still having more contractions than they wanted when I was working (more than 6 an hour) but not too bad. They sent me home from work 2 different days and I was getting a bit impatient with the whole process so my doctors did a fetal fibro nectin (FFN) test. This test is able to anticipate if you are giong to go into labor within 2 weeks - if it is negative there is less than 1% chance you will go into labor within 2 weeks, if it is positive it is a 50/50 chance--luckily mine was negative so armed with that information and the fact that I was not dilated they allowed me to return to work. I learned that there are some women who have a more 'active' uterus than others and will contract all the time prior to delivery and it will never cause labor, it is as if the uterus is just practicing and never leaves the stage of braxton hicks (BH) contractions and that it is possible that is what is going on with me, they still leave you on the meds to stop contractions, I am taking terbutaline, just to make it more comfortable for you and ensure the contractions don't escalate to labor.

November
It was during all of this per-term labor scare that my boss and I discovered that the 2 weeks of vacation I had saved and planned to role over to next year to extend my maternity leave was not allowed to be saved and I woudl have to use it. As a result of this I only had 4 more days of work until I had to take my vacation in order to use it up before my maternity leave started so that is exactly what I did. So thus I ended up off work for 3 weeks due to illness then I worked for 2 weeks, 3 of which I was sent home early for due to contractions, and then I started my 2 weeks of vacation--rough life! So my vacation started on November 10th and my maternity leave started on November 28th. All total you normally get 3 weeks paid time off for maternity leave before your due date and I added the 2 weeks to that, too bad I probably will not make it to my due date to take advantage of those 3 weeks. I have used all the 2 week of vacation now and used the time to get things in order around the house, finish the nursery, and just overal work on all those lingering "to do's" that always seem to be there since I doubt there will be any time in the near future for any of that!

All Clear

Well after a week of worrying all checked out fine, my cervix was the exact same length as the prior week and looked good. I also met with the midwife of my peri group for the first time, I really like her. I feel more comfortable resuming normal activities but she said to work up slowly. She also thinks all my blood sugars look great and is hopeful that I will be able to control the gestational diabetes via diet which is good.

It's A ????

Spine


Well even with the scare we were excited to get a detailed view of our baby. We did find out that It's a GIRL!

That's right in the ultrasound she was beign stubborn but finally after I got up and walked around she repositioned and showed herself. She was very active in the ultrasound as she generally is whenever someone is trying to 'peek' in on her. Here are a few
of the clearer pics.
Face Profile









Lower Leg/Foot

BIG Scare!

July 26th

We made a trip to Emergency Room Labor & Delivery at 4:30 am on July 26th. I was experiencing some bleeding and was petrified. They found the baby's heartbeat just fine and the uterine monitoring did not show any contractions though my uterus was showing 'irritation' which I am told was from the bleed. We had an ultrasound of the baby which looked great and my cervix checked out fine. They sent us home and had me take wed-sun off work and limited activity. I returned to the doctor monday for a check up and retested cervical length. The cervix looked fine but appeared shorter than the prior check while still being in the normal range. They will retest in a week. They said I can return to work and resume some light activities such as walking or water work outs but I am still a bit paranoid, especially with the question on the cervix length and they told me the bleed could happen again as sometimes that, 'just happens'.

Picnic Picnic Picnic!

Saturday July 22nd

Normally Jared and I don't have a whole lot to do on the weekends, they are more leasurly. This saturday however was very busy.

We had my work picnic which was nice, there weren't a ton of people there but it was nice to visit and lots of good food. They had some games for adults and kids which I thankfully get a pass on being pregnant. They had some adults do tug of war and a water balloon toss that was fun to watch but best of all they had a team competition of dizzy bat which was hilarious to watch people fall down and run sideways.

Then we went to a BBQ to raise money for a man with cancer who's insurance is no longer covering him because he met his cap! This makes me so angry they shouldnt be able to do that. Anyway, Jared works with the guys brother. It was a pig roast so more good food and a silent auction. I won a gift certificate to get a massage for cheaper than I would normally pay and a sock monkey! Does anyone remember sock monkeys, Jared and his friends thought I was crazy! It is where you take two mens pair socks and make it into a stuffed monkey, they are so cute and I had been wanting one. The lady made it, put it into a basket with a book called Sock Monkey Boogie Woogie and homemade cookies it was very cute. By end of the BBQ I was tired but we had one more stop to make.

A few girls from work had a party after the work picnic and it was a much bigger success than the picnic I think. They did a hawaiin theme and it went very well everyone was wearing lays, BBQ'ing, some were swimming or playing games it was a good time. We didn't stay too long I was so tired, and couldn't partake in the Jungle Juice! I did meet a guy at work's wife who is due 2 days before me, she is showing so much less than me Yikes! She is very nice, they had just had their ultrasound and found out it is a boy -- I can't wait until next week for ours!

Baby on the MOVE!

I am enjoying feeling the baby kick! It is so exciting. At first I thought maybe it was just gas but now for sure I know I felt him/her. It didn't really feel like butterfly wings or whatever the books say more like if you were to lick the inside of your cheek! First few days very very faint but now it is picking up. If I eat something with sugar in it and then lie on my left side is when I can feel the kicks or bumps the most. I can't wait until they get a bit stronger!
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Symptom Update: Now the headaches have greatly reduced 18.5-19 weeks and I am so happy about that, I am still getting them a few days a week but not as bad. I am able to enjoy excercising and have been doing 1/2 hour-45 minute walk with the dogs or water aerobics/bike at the gym. Everything is looking up!

Emily's Wedding

My friend from college got married today. It was a very nice and down home wedding. I always thought trying to do a smaller back yard type reception would not work out very well as the ones I have seen in the past did not but hers turned out fabulously--well except for the 95+degree heat! They had a nice church ceremony at their church followed by a reception under two large tents in the church's back yard. There was a blue grass band on hand and females in her family prepared all of the food. Her colors were purple and white and her dress was gorgeous. I am very excited for them.

Family Reunion

July 9th

Family reunion time. It was nice to see more people in attendance this year at Jared's moms side family reunion. It went very well, the weather was nice. We got to meet my new future sister in law. Forgot the camera that day so no new photos, maybe I can borrow a couple from someone.

BP Headache Medicine Miracle

Well lets see I am taking Verapimil for blood pressure, it is what my grandpa used to take!

I took it monday night and tuesday I still had a migraines, wednesday migraine, thursday just headache and only 1/2 the day, then miraculously friday saturday sunday were headache free -- that is the longest stretch without a migraine in past 2 months so this just might be working!

Peri Headache Update

18 weeks
Well now I am desperate the migraines are driving me nuts. I looked on the internet because one of the ladies on my IVF chat board is having headaches and her doctor prescribed her blood pressure medication. It appears that this can really help reduce the frequency of migraines and at this point I will try anything! I gave DrH a call and she said she was hesitant to try it because it can worsen asthma. She said I could give it a try as long as I monitored my breathing and let her know if there were any changes in my lung capacity etc. So tonight I will start these for the first time, I am so excited I want to run home and take them now!

Peri Appt

My doctor tried to take me off work today due to the migraines. I have missed about 4 partial days of work from them but i have not really been going home when I get them as I get them about 5 days a week. She thought maybe being home would help but I don't think so and then I would feel so housebound. Am I crazy for telling her no when I feel so miserable at work and I am so bored there anyway as they have not found me an alternate job?? All well I think it was the right thing to do.

Peri & Dietician Appt

13 weeks:

Met with the dietician today. She said that while I am doing excellent keeping the blood sugars reigned in that I have not been eating enough carbs! She said that being pregnant I need 180-240g carbs a day and I am probably only getting 90-100g on my current regimen. So I am to up my carb intake but in a controlled fashion and if my blood sugars are too high then I will have to either take insulin or start some pills to reduce it. I have to eat 30g carb for breakfast and my 3 daily snacks, and 45g carbs with lunch dinner.

Also met with peri and while all looks good she could see how awful I have been feeling with my migraines, I had one even at the office. She is concerned with their frequency and severity though she said this does happen to some women. She prescribed my vicodin to take for the headaches which I was very uneasy about but she assured me that they use it all the time in pregnancy. She also wrote headaches into my FMLA forms and told me to go home when I had a migraine or take the day off so I could take the vicodin as I can't work while taking it. She was not too concerned that I had lost weight especially since I had been having trouble eating with the headaches and all, she said if I dont' gain by 20 weeks then they would be a bit more concerned.

Gestational Diabetes - bump in the road!

So at my first peri appt I mentioned that she had me go for a one hour glucose tolerance test. This means that they take your blood to test it's sugar level when you get there then they have you drink what is pretty much like a really sugar laden pop and wait an hour to take your blood sugar again. Most of you know I don't drink pop, or pretty much anything except water so for me the solution tastes like flat syrupy pop and is extremely disgusting. Well I took my blood sugar on my meter after the one hour and it was in the 170's and I knew that was failing before I even got the official word.

The next day the doctor's office called to say I had failed and I scheduled a 3 hour glucose tolerance test -- these ones are awful and I normally take one every year anyway. Each year I trend a little closer to diabetic so with the pregnancy which impairs your bodies ability to use insulin I was sure I would fail this too. For the 3 hour you go in after fasting for 12 hours so my blood sugar was very low and I was very ill. Then you drink another sugary solution--twice as much sugar so twice as awful and you get your blood before then at 1, 2, and 3 hours. By the time I was to leave my blood sugar was so low I had to drink some apple juice before I could even walk to the cafeteria to get something to eat. For me what happens is at 1 hour my blood sugar will be high and on the rise but by 2 hours my body starts responding to it and since it waited so long it dumps a ton of insulin which my body reacts to and then by 3 hours my blood sugar is super low. So in essence my body does a delayed reaction followed by over correction.

So between my appointments for the test and while waiting for my next peri appointment I started journaling what I have eaten and the blood sugars before and after. I have found that I am able to control my blood sugar and keep it nice and low by only eating around 25 carbs at a sitting and only with some other protein/fat. I will meet with the dietician and the peri soon.

I knew I would have trouble with gestational diabetes but I was hoping it would take a bit longer before it happened, most women develop problems around 24-28 weeks. So much for enjoying any cravings during pregnancy! I am at the point where I look up each food I eat and how many carbs it has and count them all up, no candy, no ice cream, no nothing! I can do it standing on my head if it means a healthy baby though.
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Symptom Update: I am hoping that getting my blood sugars under tight control can help my headaches/migraines, I am still having them since about 10.5 weeks and they are getting more frequent and severe. We are on about 2-3 weeks of constant headaches now and I am finding it hard to even want to eat. I have also missed some work because my head is so bad I have left work early one day and missed one day completely.

Hawaiin Dogs!

Ok so you know you need kids when???

When you do this to your beloved fur babies (i.e. dogs)!

Taken June 4th, 2006

I think they are so cute! We went to a fundraiser for local rescue organizations and they had a company there advertising this special for a fundraiser so it was only $15 for 3 pictures. We didn't get to pick out the theme or anything but it turned out so cute, they did a very good job. If you think our dogs must be so well behaved to sit there like this you would be wrong! They first let them in to smell the 'set' and such then once they get them dressed someone hold them in position then the lady behind the camera makes a funny noise to make them look at her and the other lady lets go of the dogs and Presto! Perfect pose for about 5 seconds!

Peri Appt

May 31st

Had my first perinatologist (high risk ob - peri) appointment today. Everything with the baby looked great! I first had an appointment with Bronson ultrasound so they could check on the baby and ensure that all looked ok. The baby was 4cm long and heart was beating at 171 bpm, both are right on track. The sac was very large about 3X as long as the baby and She/He was bouncing back and forth from end to end and was not about to stay still it was very amazing and cute. I had expected a little body kind of in a 'stasis' mode I guess just floating here and there.

The appointment was a nightmare because it took so long, first I had the ultrasound at 9 so I showed up at 8:30, then I had to meet with the nurse to go over my history, family history, etc, that took forever. The doctor still wasnt there, she was stuck in a huge traffic accident on the highway so they gave me the option of coming back after lunch ~ 1.5 hours or rescheduling but I would have had to see the other doctor and I needed to talk about my work situation so I really wanted to see DrH so I got some lunch and waited around. She was finally there, but then wanted me after the appointment to go get a 1 hour glucose tolerance test, at this point I just called work and said I wouldn't be back. So by the time I got out of the lab it was 3:15pm so I literally spent all day at the hospital!

Even though it was hectic the appointment went well. My doctor, Dr.H, is a female and I love love her! There is also a male in the practice, a very old man, I am going to try and avoid seeing him as he is ok and very capable but I don't think I will like him as much from things I have heard. Dr.H seems to understand and be fine with that. She agreed with me and the RE that the lab is no place for a pregnant woman and wrote a note saying I would need an alternate assigment for the duration of pregnancy and that I was not to work with or around any chemical not proven safe in pregnancy thus cinching up any loopholes they may have tried to use, she even asked me what she should write.

I will be seeing them about every 2-3 weeks until I am further along. This is way more than I realized so she recommended filling out FMLA forms so that the time would be covered as they don't have early or late appointments to work around my schedule.
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Symptom Update: Since about 10.5 weeks the nauseau has slowed down and I can eat almost normally but now I am getting headaches alot, hopefully it is just my body adjusting to the hormone fluctuations.

Great Strides for Cystic Fibrosis!

Well this year the walk went well. Our team grew significantly as did the funds we raised. Having Pfizer sponsor us added to the number of people I was able to recruit from work. Pfizer also did a story on me and my disease which was distributed to the entire kalamazoo site so anyone who didn't know I had CF before does now! We did not have Draco as our mascot this year which was sad, we took Sachi in his place. We had a wonderful day and were so thankful for our friends, families, and co-workers support in raising funds and awareness for CF.

3 Years & Counting

Well we have been married three years now, almost seems like yesterday that we got married but seems alot has happened past three years also. We decided our family was too small and added dog #2 Sachi, then dog #3 Nala. We then decided we wanted a child and started 'not trying not to'. We both graduated, Jared went back to school then got a job in IT. By this time we were actively trying to have a child. We both lost our grandfather's. We continued remodeling the house in the hopes of moving. Now at our three year anniversary we are 10 weeks pregnant and couldn't be happier!

For our anniversary, which falls on Memorial day weekend we went to Grand Haven which is a beach town and went camping at Yogi Bear National Park. It was very low key and relaxing. We went tent camping in the rustic part of the park so there were not kids running around, everything way quiet. During the day we would go to walk along the beach and see the shops and the town. We stayed sat sun night and left monday during day.

PIO NO MORE!

Wednesday May 24, 2006 - Last SHOT!!

PIO stands for Progesterone in Oil and it is a medication that we used for IVF. We have been injecting it nightly since we did the egg retrieval--that's 10 weeks ago! When they retrieve your eggs they are unable to leave the follicles which contain the eggs behind, this follicle is what would normally remain in your ovary and produce progesterone during the beginning stages of a pregnancy until the placenta is sufficiently developed to take over which happens around8-10 weeks in your pregnancy.

So, Jared has been injecting a 1.5 inch needle into my bum each night containing 1cc of liquid which is a thick oil. So then you have to apply pressure to reduce bruising, rub it in, then walk around to work it into your system. It makes you very sleepy and in hindsight I think increases the nauseau factor. We have been doing these long enough I have huge knots on both sides of my bum so the shots are starting to get very annoying and makes me a bit sore, kind of like I have a bruised bum on both sides. I won't miss these shots a bit!

RE Graduation & Belly Picture

Thursday May 11, 2006

We had our 8 week ultrasound. Everything still looks good, in two weeks the baby has more than tripled in size and is now 14.3mm. It is hard to see but there is a head up top pushed into top of the sack, then outline of a body and the leg buds are hiding behind the big circle at the bottom (yolk sac/developing placenta). You could see little arm buds too but not in this scan.

We are now released from Michigan Reproductive -- we have graduated after our first attempt at IVF! Since we have had two ultrasounds where everything looks to be developing perfectly the RE said that less than 1% chance of miscarriage at this stage which you normally have to wait until 12 weeks to be able to say but that is because no one is normally 'looking' at the baby this early to see if everything is ok, they just wait until week 12 and then say you are good.

We are being referred to our Perinatologist which is for high risk pregnancies due to my cystic fibrosis, not the fact that we did IVF. I had already met with the perinatology group prior to trying to get pregnant, and they had consulted with my CF doctors. They both felt that I was extremely healthy and well suited to have a pregnancy with little problems from my lungs. The peri also told me that my CF doctor anticipates a life expectancy of 60-70 for me, so plenty of time to raise this little one inside me to an adult as that was somethign I wanted to ensure first but my CF doc does not believe in giving that info out.

The baby may only be 14mm but I look like there is a 14'' baby in there, still remnants of fluid from OHSS which will remain until sometime in 2nd tri when I will be getting a big belly for real!

Draco's Last Days

This past weekend Draco, our oldest dog, started acting strangely saturday night. He would not eat and then sunday we noticed it seemed he was hesitating when trying to urinate. Even if I called him he did not want to get up, this is very unlike Draco who will get up just to follow you to the other room - even if you are coming right back. Jared and I had decided that with his age this was probably his time, we actually thought maybe he would die at home with us over the weekend. He was a few months shy of 10 and average life expectancy for these gentle giants was 8-10 years.

I called the vet on monday and we got him on monday afternoon, we both took him after work. I was very upset and convinced we would be putting him down.

It seems that Draco had lost about 10 of his 135 pounds. He was already a very thin dog, no doubt some of it had been over the weekend but he must have been slowly loosing before that and we couldn't tell since we saw him every day. The vet looked him over and recommended that we put him down. They are very familiar wiht him due to his near miss the previous year with bloat and everyone loved him. They said with his age and that he wasn't eating and was having trouble urinating they felt it was his time. Upon exam they found that his prostate was enormous and no doubt constricting his urethra and preventing urine from leaving his bladder. The vet said with a prostate enlargement that size it was probably cancer though it could also be prostitis but he couldn't tell without more tests and he thought that while only we could make the decision putting him down would be his recommendation.

Since we do not go out in the yard and watch him go we have no way of knowign how long he had been having problems with hesitation when urinating and being the stoic dog that he is he never let us know anything was wrong until it was too late.

Jared and I were so upset and I was bawling. Jared couldn't bear to put him down that day and in hindsight I don't know if I could have done it either. Jared decided we would take him home for one last night and bring him back in the morning to have a complete work up to see if there was anything that could be done for him. On the way to the car Jared was able to catch a urine sample and we took it back for analysis by the vet who found lots of blood in his urine, it was actually brown more than yellow. He did not find anything that would be indicative of cancer and therefore thought it was prostitis and we took Draco home for his probable last night with us. We put him in our bed for the night and those of you who know me well realize this is not the norm. We tried feeding him anything we thought might be appetizing to him, the only thing I could get him to try was a few bites of rice pudding. Jared and I both called in to work for the next day.

Tuesday morning we took him to the vet at 8:30am after saying our goodbye's just incase. We took pictures of him and the girls hoping it would not be their last time together. The vet decided it would be best if we just dropped him off for the tests and came back after lunch when they were done. We were both such a wreck there is no way we could have went to work. We came home and tried to decide what we would do depending on what they found. I was more in favor of putting him to sleep than Jared was simply becuase I know Draco and if he wasn't eating and acting himself he was truly miserable and I knew that if they could do anything to make him better it would be very hard on him, not to mention it would not buy him much more time as he was so old anyhow and I didn't want him to suffer so much at the end of his life. The vet called in afternoon and we went in to talk with him.

He had found that it was indeed prostitis and Draco's bloodwork did not indicate any cancer activity and all his x-ray's looked ok however the size of the prostate was enormous and Draco was very very weak with low blood pressure. They said that they could castrate him which would reduce the levels of hormones and help with the prostate enlargement as it was basically extremely enlarged due to irritation and some infection was probably present too. However, since Draco was so ill he was too weak for surgery so they recommended that we could put him on very high dose strong combination of antibiotics to help reduce the tumor and it may ease things up and allow him to urinate. Then once he was able to eat again and regained some strength they could do the operation. He would need to remain on the antibiotics for 2-6 months perhaps.

I know Draco very well and knew this would not be a viable option for him, he had been on antibiotics for staph infections in the past, he does not do well on antibiotics at all. I felt that bringing Draco home would just prolong his suffering as I did not think he would start eating again and we would end up having to put him to sleep after prolonging his suffering or he would get so weak he would die on his own. In the end the vet left us with Draco to talk it over. We decided to put him down. This was the hardest decision either one of us have ever had to make and I was crying so hard in all my hormonal-ness that I was choking and sobbing to the point of almost vomiting.

The vet came back in and said that it was a decision that only we could make and he respected that though we both got the feeling that he wanted to try treatment which did not help us to feel we were doing the right thing though in hindsight I 100% believe in our decision. They shaved his front paw and brought in the sedative at this point I began sobbing and telling Jared we didn't have to do it, luckily he maintained the course and we went ahead, I have never seen Jared so upset.

They said they would inject it and he would drift off into a deep sleep and never know what had happened. Well, if only all things went so smoothly. Draco's blood pressure was so low all his veins kept collapsing, the vet got a bit in at one time and Draco started looking sleepy though Jared thought he was looking confused and sad at what was going on. Then another vet came in to try and finish the job, she needed us to turn him over but he couldnt get up so we had to flip him over and this is when Jared thought he looked scared. She was able to get the rest of the sedative in and he slowly stopped breathing. It was incredibly awful we were beside ourselves. We stayed in the room with Draco for a long time and cried and apologized and told him how much we loved him and that we hope he knew we tried to make the right decision. I hope he heard us.

We arranged to have Draco picked up by a local pet funeral home and cremated. Jared opted not to have the remains returned in an urn as he felt seeing this urn every day would be too painful. We are going to frame a nice picture of him and put it up later. When we got home we went on a cleaning rampage to clean away all hair, drool, food, beds, leashes, etc that were from him as we didn't want to look at it.

The next day at work was very hard, I didn't want to talk to anyone nor did Jared. It was toughest for a few days, a few nights after he died I went out into the living room to check on the dogs and cried as I somehow had expected him to be there. Then there was the episode of Gray's anatomy that showed a dog being put to sleep and that was the worst. The girls would pace around where he slept and whine for a few nights and Nala went to tryign to lay on top of Sachi as that is normally what she did to Draco. We all still miss him very much.

I realize this post is way too much detail for anyone to want to read in it's entirety but it is good therapy going over all of this and I somehow dont want to forget it.

Draco on his last day









Siblings last day together









Nala (top) misses Draco - her old sleeping pillow. Her new sleeping pillow, Sachi, is not thrilled with this development (4 days after Draco passed, she did this for about 10 days)

Let the Nauseau Begin!

Well at about 7 weeks, Tuesday May 2nd I began suffering from nauseau. Whomever named it morning sickness has never experienced it in person. Mine starts off slow in the am and builds throughout the day. Supposedly means a healthy pregnancy so bring it on! (I reserve the right to take that back later!)

Baby on Board

April 27, 2006- We had our first ultrasound today at the RE's office. We were so excited to see our child for the first time that I let Jared buy a video camera and we videotaped the ultrasound.

We now know that we have ONE baby on board! The baby was so very tiny, only 3.4mm and is the tiny little bean between the cross hairs in the picture. It was amazing to see the little heart beating so fervently at over 100 beats per minute, it looked like a little flicker on the screen. We will go back in 2 weeks to check in on the baby again. EDD is estimated due date and is right before Christmas, what a present!

I was released to return to work on Friday April 28th as all looked good and with the help of some acid reflux medication I am able to hold down food. I still have fluid retention as I look about 4-5 months pregnant so this shoudl prove interesting with everyone asking how far along I am. I am still able to fit into a few of my normal pants with a rubberband on the button or a couple bigger stretchier ones without that.

Baby Aylanna

Well, Amanda had her baby on 4/13 at ~12:05 am. She weighed 6lbs 7 oz. and was 19'' long. Had she been born just 6 minutes earlier she would have been considered premature. Amanda had been having pretty strong contractions but would probably have went a while longer except she was trying to step over a baby gate and fell right on her belly, scared James to death! This started very strong premature labor that was not able to be stopped.

Baby Aylanna was born with so much dark hair, completely opposite of baby Daren with his platinum blond curly hair.

I was so unhappy that I had just been told to stay in bed the day before and was not able to be at the birth! However, the next day I had to go to the hospital for bloodwork anyway so I hopped in a wheelchair and went to visit!

Just five days earlier our cousin Bre gave birth to a baby boy, Tyler James on 4/08/06 at 3:56 A.M he was 7 lb 1 oz., 21" long. Still waiting on a picture of the little cutie.

OHSS continues

Well, today is day # 6 of OHSS, things are not really improving for me. I started taking a medician yesterday which should help with the complication of acid reflux I have been having extremely bad and is part of what is preventing me from eating solid foods. I have had to start drinking ensure shakes to get some nutrition, have to love being reduced to the diet of an 80 year old! I am losing weight during pregnancy ! -- but the fluid is packing into the ole abdomen and ovaries to make up for it so I still look 3-4 months pregnant! Right now we are in a holding pattern and I continue to check in with my doctor day by day.

I will have to fill out a short term disability claim through my work today. Luckily, my work has been very great and flexible with all of this and I get paid for the time off and it is covered under FMLA. Unfortunately you get 12 weeks FMLA a rolling calendar year meaning my maternity leave will not be all covered under FMLA. I will still get to take the same amount of time off but I won't be guaranteed my job back, I will however be guaranteed A job back so I am not too concerned. As it stands now, when I go back to work I will not be doing my normal job anyway. My doctors and I agree that the laboratory is a dangerous place for a pregnant women, no telling how much chemical is safe exposure limit for a fetus so I will be taking a desk job for the remainer of my pregnancy. At this time I have no idea what I will be doing but it sounds like I will remain under my manager thankfully as he has been extremely accomodating and understanding. My only fear is that I am starting a trend here and now that other pregnant women realize they have a choice the management is going to be looking at me like the ring leader! On one hand I hope that other pregnant women talk with there doctors as I dont' feel the lab is at all safe for pregnant women but on the other hand I am afraid of being a 'trouble maker' even just on my own case. Oh, well, I have new priorities now and it is whatever is best for this child(ren).

OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome)

I had scheduled vacation wednesday to allow whatever news we received to settle in. Boy am I glad I did. Wednesday morning I was uncomfortable but my IVF coordinator was out of the office so I said I would call her the next day, by the afternoon was in distress and called the main clinic in Grand Rapids. It felt as though someone had lifted my ribs and stuck a basketball under them, I was having stomach pains, not to mention I could not eat anything without more intense pain and a very hot acidy feeling in my stomach. My stomach was all puffy and distended and I had severe nausea. The clinician diagnosed me with Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) which is supposed to only happen in about 1% of cases. Well when I had surgery for my gallbladder 3 years ago I suffered from severe internal bleeding which is also supposedly a 1% chance of happening so I guess I am either the world's luckiest person or a glutton for punishment!

The next day, thursday, I went to the hospital and they ran a complete bloodwork on me to get baseline levels of kidney function blood levels etc as moderate to severe cases can reak havoc on your system. All checked out fine and as mentioned the pregnancy level was looking great.

I was taken off of work due to the OHSS and have to do bedrest, fluids restricted to 4 glasses (32oz) a day -- those of you who know me realize how serious this is for me of all people, I normally consume at least 15 glasses of all water! Now I could not even drink water, I had to drink everything with electrolytes like gatorade, propel water etc. I have to weigh myself 2x daily, measure my abdomen, and report in to the IVF coordinator daily. At this time I was thinking it would be over with soon!

In some sadistic way I am thrilled with the OHSS because this generally happens when you have had a really successful cycle meaning ... .... .. A) you were a high responder to the meds and they retrieved many eggs (I had 25) B) your estrogen level gets above 4000 (mine was 3600 2 days before retrieval) C) your pregnancy hormones are on the rise!

Beta Test Results

As mentioned in the previous post the dr's office was supposed to call me to let me know that they had left the results of our test on the home answering machine so that we could get the results at the same time and so that I would not find out at work. Well, that didn't work out so smoothly, when the nurse called me she blurted out the results before I could stop her. So, there I am tuesday trying to concentrate on completing some training and all hopes of concentration were shattered. I was very unhappy and decided to have her call the home phone so I could feign ignorance and still listen to the result with Jared. Well, we made a couple stops on the way home and I was being WAY to patient so the gig was up Jared knew I had found out. But, with such great news who can be unhappy?

So, on 4/11 our result was 40 miu HCG (pregnancy hormone) anything above 15 is positive, and we were told our number was 'good', they took another test on 4/13 at which time it should have increased by about 80%, ideally doubling, our second result was 99 miu HCG! That is a great result so our next test will be an ultrasound on 4/27 at which point they will be able to see if there is one baby or two growing.

Possibly Pregnant?

Picture this, I had been taking a home pregnancy test (HPT) each morning for 4 days in the hope that the first one would be negative (ensuring when I got a faint line developing we would know we were pregnant) then obsessively taking them each morning - just incase, so finally tuesday, the morning of the beta, I did the same routine, get up, do a hpt and then there were 2! Yep, two lines, actually a line and a + sign! It showed up right away and I was so excited I jumped on the bed and woke Jared up. We had a little celebration but agreed not to get too excited until we got back our beta numbers. Yeah, right!

I had been having symptoms but because we were injecting progesterone hormones every night I had convinced myself I was stark raving mad that I couldn't possibly be having symptoms within the first two weeks and decided to not trust my instincts -- even though by tuesday mornings positive test I was pretty sure I was correct! Oh, and alot of IVF'ers experience symptoms way earlier than in normal pregnancy because a) you are looking for every little symtom and b) you are already so hopped up on hormones.

So. we would have to wait all day to get home and hear the results of our blood test, which were to be left on the answering machine so that we could find out together, and to confirm whether or not I was indeed sane.

I am sure you can see the positive on the hpt, right? Ok, so it is was hard to see but it is there, had to photo shop a more distinct+ onto it. Yes, I took a picture of it, come on I had been waiting three years to see one of those things light up!

2 Week Wait

Well, our embryo transfer was 3/31 and our Beta test to check the levels of hormones in my blood, i.e. pregnancy test are scheduled for 4/11 & 4/13. They check the levels two days apart to ensure the hormones are rising appropriately. The tests are so early, that in the 'normal' cycle a woman may not have even been late yet so it is will stillbe a very early pregnancy.

This time in between the transfer and the tests is referred to as the two week wait (2ww) and is torture: waiting, wondering, hoping, and praying.

I have come up with a short term 'game plan' to either relieve stress or celebrate!

Right now I am drivng myself crazy trying not to overanalyze each twinge, and sensation that I get, we will see.

We got our report from the laboratory regarding our embryos, stats are as follows:
23 eggs retrieved(plus 2 cysts)
19 were mature (that is great, normally there are alot of immature when so many are grown)
Of the 19, 14 fertilized and started dividing
best 2 were transferred back
11 embryos were frozen so we have 11 'totsicles' or 'snow babies'
5=4cells (grade B & B+) 3=3 cells (grade B) 1=5 cells (grade C) 2=3 cells( grade C) Grades A & B have the same success rate for implantation with the grades C being slightly reduced and they didn't freeze one so it must have been of poor quality.

11 frozen is alot more than I was hoping for, now if these first two take we are going to have 11 on ice to figure out what to do with. Better than none, no complaints here.

Embryo Transfer

Well, today was the day, what this whole long journey has been leading up to. We arrived at 7:45am for the 8:30 embryo transfer, once again I was already loopy on valium, not so much for the pain today, just to make sure I was relaxed which we all know can be a BIG challenge for me :-) The procedure today was very simple, 5 minutes tops, they transfer the emryos via a small catheter and then check the catheter under the microscope to ensure they were delivered and voila -- 2 back in the oven just that quick. So our chances of one of them sticking around is about 65% and our chances of BOTH of them sticking around is about 10-15%!

The exciting part is that we got a picture of our perfect, wonderful, miraculous looking little 'babies to be'. They were both perfect 4 cell embryo's. They actually get grades and these two were and A and A-, success rates remain the same for all grades A through B so our little embies were excellent. It was very emotional for us and I think this picture was worth the entire journey and every ounce of being uncomfortable.

Fertilization Report

Well, I am sore today, no valium now. Doing well, taking it easy, when Jared gets home from work he is going to take me to get some movies and a few last minute 'bedrest' essentials. Doctors office called today and out of the 25 eggs that were retrieved we had 19 that were mature, that is great. Out of the 19 mature size eggs 14 fertilized, we utilized ICSI which is where they put the best sperm inside of the eggs to give them a head start. We won't know anymore until we go in to have two little ones 'transferred on home'.

Dogs Dogs Dogs

Well, as you all now we are crazy about our dogs so when reviewing the site I noticed that our blog was incomplete without pictures of all our current children so hear we go. This is the most recent picture of all three of them together, other than the christmas card picture which you can't see them too good in. This is from this summer, I gave Draco a mini bday party as he is getting so old we are really not sure if he will see another.

Draco is the big old man, he is a purebred Japanese breed of Mastiff, called a Tosa Inu. He may look fierce but he is the biggest baby around! ON the left of Draco is Nala, she is a hound dog beagle mix - we think, that we rescued when she was about 1 year old and have had her about a year now, she still has some discipline problems and came to use with bad habits but when she is calm, rarity, she is the biggest sweatheart around. On the right of Draco is Sachi, she too was a rescue though when she was much younger, about 5-6 mo old, we have had her for about 2+ years. She is a boxer/pitbull mix and is sooo pretty and a really great dog after alot of work with her, she is Jared's baby!

Great Strides Cystic Fibrosis

Well all, now that my IVF process is winding down and I am entering the insanely tortoruos two week wait I am shifting my focus to the Great Strides walk, I figure it will keep me sane and give me something else to think about.

Last year for the first time we formed a team and it was great fun and we raised alot of money. We went out to breakfast ahead of time as a team, one of our team members won the large raffel prize, another took home 1/2 the silent auction, we were the most successful new team for the area, and we had a team mascot.

This year I have petitioned pfizer and they will be corporate sponsors of the walk which is very exciting! Having such a large corporate sponsor with bring with it many opportunities. We are now allowed to solicit donations from colleagues, set up table tents all across campus about our event, send out side wide emails, set up recruitment tables in the cafeterias, they are writing an article about me and sending it out pfizer wide which should get us some good press, and they are providing our t-shirts and donating 1,000 dollars right off the top!

To join our team or donate go to http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/NicoleHorvath or contact me. We are all about raising awareness not just raising funds so to learn more about cystic fibrosis go to www.cff.org.

Egg Retrieval

Well, today we had our egg retrieval. We left for Grand Rapids about 5:15 am to ensure we got there around 7 even though Jared's appointment wasn't until 7:30 and mine 7:45, for those of you who know me as always being late it might seem a shock but this was too important to be late for!

They had me take valium an hour before hand so I was already walking/talking/thinking funny. Jared tells me that I just kept asking a lot of questions over and over in different ways—not all of which made sense, I didn’t realize I was doing that but when doc came in to give us the results he told Jared and said, you can tell her this later when she asks again, that is normal on these meds (valium, versed, phentanyl—sp?). For whatever reason at that point I looked at him in complete clarity and thought –‘why is he treating me like an idiot? He he.

We had 25 eggs retrieved and they couldn’t tell how many were immature as they all looked at least close to the size that they need to be to be mature. We should get an update tomorrow on how many fertilized and then Friday we will transfer 2 embryos-no triplets for us, but yes chance of twins ~ 15%.

Fishy Fishy

Well, continuing on our hobby of aquariums we added some new residents to our saltwater tank recently including: a new foxface fish, a blood shrimp, a cleaner shrimp, 10 crabs, a mushroom covered rock, and a small feather duster.

This week we bought a 9 gallon nano tank which Jared has been wanting for a long time to keep seahorses in. Seahorses are very beautiful but hard to keep creatures, they have to be kept in a separate tank. So, we are partaking on an all new journey and crazily we seem to do things in three's so we now have three fish tanks to go along with our three dogs, who knows maybe three kids are in our future after all.

IVF-March

March 13-baseline ultrasound (u/s) before stims, 2 cysts found from incomplete stimulation of ovaries when 2 eggs were already in process of development, these cysts were small and cycle was able to be continued, they will be removed with the other eggs at egg retrieval

March 15-Stims started, repronex 100 units & gonal-f 150 units, massive stimulation of ovaries

March 17-U/s & Bw reveal only 8 eggs and estrogen level of 34, a low response

March 17-Gonal-f continued dosage increased to 225 units, length time determined by response of ovaries monitored by ultrasound to see number of eggs and thickness of uterus lining and estradiol levels in blood which increase semi proportionally to number of maturing eggs.

March 20-U/s & B/w to check on progress Estrodial ~300, lots little eggs per bronson who is not used to doing these u/s, dosage remains the same. In bronson sun-tues due hemoptysis.

March 21-gonal-f increased to 300 units. March 22-Huge change in how I am feeling, fuller belly, tender/sore. March 23-Severe morning sickness! U/s & B/w estrodial levels rocket to 1034, my right ovary has 15 eggs sizes : 17.5 (probably cyst growing, still ok size though) 15 (other cyst) 14.25, 12.5, 4@10.5, 7<= 9.5 my left ovary has 11 eggs sizes: 13.5, 13, 11.5, 8<=9.5. Unfortunately, if the smaller ones don't catch up we will have to just go with the bigger ones.

March 25-Insomnia last night, no idea why, perhaps hormones. Stomach feeling very full and tender now, U/s & B/w estradiol doubled to 2068 and all follicels 12-16mm now, uterine lining is more than thick enough, very good report!

March 27-Egg Retrieval Day

March 29-Embryo Transfer

IVF-February

February 2-Meet with IVF coordinator to get details and dates for the plan

SA for Jared--I'll let you fill in the details

February 6-Blood work for both of us

February 14-HSG (hysterosalpingogram) fun for me to evaluate the fallopian tubes, both are open and look good.

February 16-Mock embryo transfer -'practice' putting eggs back, see layout of uterus

February 17-Meds arrive, wholly meds, lots and lots o' stuff

February 21-Injection training, preparation for all those injections!

February 25-Lupron started 20 units a night, supresses body's natural cycle, lupron taken throughout cycle to supress natural cycle so that it can be controlled as needed with the stimulatory medicine.

IVF-January

This is a blog for me to keep track of treatment details and if you are interested, to satisfy your curiosity about what it is that we are actually doing.

January 26- Initial consult to evaluate need/effectiveness and options for treatment

We decide to go for it, insurance covers it and it is our only chance. We have already looked into adoption if this doesn't pan out. Either way, we are starting a family.

Family Wanted

Well, while we love our dogs some of you may know that Jared and I have been wanting to add on to our family for some time now. In January we made a decision to pursue In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to help us obtain that goal as we have been unsuccessful with other attempts. We had our initial consult in January and started the process in February, now in March, after weeks of nightly shots we are nearing the exciting time of our procedures. Detailed procedure steps are described in my post labeled IVF.